S.O.S.

S.O.S. is a children's organization that runs orphanages throughout the country, including one in Tlokweng, which is a small town or suburb of Gaborone, sort of. There are over 270 kids in this one orphanage alone. They hire women full-time to serve as "mothers". However, the child-mother ratio is very high, and there is a great deal of turnover in the position. This is of course very bad for the kids from an attachment perspective, and they are therefore less likely to develop a good relationship with the next mother, which makes that next mother's job even more stressful, and the cycle continues.


A week or so ago a group of really good students from my undergraduate class came to me to ask for ideas for a field experience they were doing for another class, in which they were to spend a Saturday morning with the younger kids (ages 2-5) from the orphanage; their assignment was to create activities that would promote resilience in the kids. I talked to them about some possibilities, and decided to sponsor the purchase of supplies so they would have something to work with.















In exchange, I asked them to come report back to me on how it went and what they learned, and to bring me pictures of their experience, which they did. I was proud of what they came up with, and it was interesting to hear them process the experience. They primarily talked about how difficult the kids were to manage, how angry many of them seemed, and how cruel they were to each other. They also found some of them to be very distant, detached, and withdrawn, including the little boy above.


We talked about why this might be the case and what it might mean.











They also talked about how sneaky the kids were to get what they wanted, like extra snacks. I proposed that they consider this might be a coping mechanism, developed as a survival skill to get their own needs met in the midst of the chaotic environment of having 200 other kids around competing for what is available.

It seems in terms of material things, they are provided for to a satisfactory degree. The government here has a reasonably effective process for registering orphans and making sure they can stay in school and such. The lucky ones have sponsors who send money to care for them, and those kids get put in the better schools and seem to be getting a decent education. My students commented that the kids seemed intelligent despite their environment.

Where this system falls short, from my persective, is in meeting the kids social and emotional needs. Not that they are not trying, but there is just no way to help kids develop a healthy sense of attachment, which is really the cornerstone of healthy development, and no sense of social competence. A person probably does have to get somewhat manipulative in order to get your needs met. That kind of skill will help them survive in the short term, but they will pay a heavy price for it later. I am not sure what the answer is, but there are SO many kids like this who really need us to figure out an answer.




The picture below stands out to me. The students said that the older girl at first told them she worked for the orphanage, which the students found hard to believe because of how young she seemed.

They later found out that she is actually one of the orphans herself, but has taken on the role of caretaker of some of the younger ones. I am not clear if this is an official position or simply a self-appointed one. In either case, it seems like she has been able to maintain a degree of empathy and connectedness to others, and found a sense of purpose. Perhaps she will make it.